Glamour interrupted....

i am reading a book called Glamour, Interrupted by Steven "Cojo" Cojocaru. He's a famous fashion guy who had a kidney disease and had 2 transplants!!! omg 2!!! i can't even imagine. His first one was rejected...I haven't gotten to that part yet...i just know from when it happened.
This book has been great for me to read. Although i'm not a guy and I didn't have the same disease as him, it's really great to read someone else write about what I went through! No matter what, unless you've been through it, you can't really tell me you know how i feel! no one can relate!!! I have to say one of the hardest things is not having someone fully understand. Even the random people that have had transplants that I do talk to...it's always "yeah but you know what happened to me?" like there situation is more important than mine...which i guess in their eyes it is, as my situation is more important than anyone elses...but it still be nice to just have someone with a bit more knowledge. whatever. I'm really not one to complain about it. I'm happy i had my transplant. I really believe things happen for a reason. I was MENT to have this happen to me. Trust when I say..it definately was GLAMOUR INTERRUPTED!! haha
i was 18 post high school graduate about to start my second term @ NCC when I got sick!!!

I was young hot skinny as can be...smoked ciggs, didn't give a fuck about much! This whole sickness changed me. It made me really appreciate things. As i've gotten older I really have always tried to stay honest with MYSELF about what I want from life. I want to be happy.
I am in this great relationship right now. Duncan is amazing!!! xxxx I cannot get over how wonderful he is sometimes!! Would I be lying if I said I didn't want to marry him and have his kids? i would LOVE that!!!! BUt I am content and really truly happy right NOW with what we have. If my desire for those things get stronger..then i'll worry about that then.

Fathers day is coming up. I got my dad a DVD season 1. WOO HOO! Dad gave me a kidney I give him a dvd!!! lol

Doesn't make sence huh. What do you get him? How do you say thatnks for being such a great dad...AND A LIFE SAVER!!! i mean really...no matter how many Sting cd's I buy..it will never be enough! lol

I really love my dad.

I cannot express how much he means to me...even minus the whole kidney thing.

He's amazing. STRONG. tough yet loving. Never met a man like him. prolly never will. He is one of a kind in so many ways. I hope I make him proud. Do i make him proud? Which would be better? thinking hes proud when in reality he thinks i could do better with everyhting...Or knowing that hes not proud of things ive done...but at least the honesty is there. why the hell am i thinking that? anyways....

Well i'm gonna go to bed now.

I hope I write again soon...like in a few days!!!!!

xoxo~@

wow it's been a while huh? i have a good job @ zimmer+rohde. its a company that sells way expencive fabric to the trade only. i'm at work now and prolly should be working! haha. I got blood results a few weeks ago and I am as healthy as I ever have been! my creatine level is 1.03 the lowest it's ever been!!!!! YAY!! i feel really good. i've been consistantly working out adn it really makes a difference! i make smoothies almost every morning of berries/low fat yogurt/and juice and it has helped me to really be focused. when i don't have it or i don't work out i feel like shit i have to say! i feel really good that i've also really made a commitment and am doing it!



I have to take calcium pills now. my medication strips my body of it. not good! its so strange to me that you take a prescription drug that is supposed to help you but the side effects sometimes are un-fucking-believeable. the meds i'm on that i have to tkae fo rthe rest of my life have a side effect of INCREASED SKIN CANCER /OVARIAN CANCER/INSOMNIA/ACNE

WTF!!!! that is justs nuts to me.



i really try to not focus on these things. i try to enjoy what ihave now. its important to me to really focus on the good ihave from this all. i've never been sad or negative about getting sick. IT HAPPENED FOR A REASON.



i have to clean my damn closet again. i don't understand how it continues to get soo damn messy! i wear the same fucking clothes all the time!!! grrrrrr ahahahhaha i have a cake this weekend. i'll see if i can post it on here. that would be cool. i really want to try to write on here. not that anyone right now knows about me having this...not that anyone might actually be interested in my life but...you never know!